7 Annoying Types of Gamers

[XGhozt 410]

This is great, haha, I couldn't resist posting.

 

 

1. Inspector Gadget

This guy loves all the bits and pieces associated with gaming. He actually bought the Nintendo Power Glove and the Virtual Boy. He has Rumble Paks on his Rumble Paks. Maybe he just really likes Nintendo… No wait, there's a stack of every color of PlayStation memory card ever made. He always shows up with his own controller in pristine condition, and you laughed at him when he brought over the Master Chief helmet that came with the Legendary edition of Halo 3, because it's tiny and you can't actually wear it. Then he used it to build a scale model that actually fit, and you were kind of jealous.

 

 

2. Freak of Nature

Ok, I thought pot made your reaction time slower. I thought being on the phone while doing stuff made you less skillful. I thought having played the game before would give me some kind of advantage. Yet here you are, high as a kite, talking on the phone with your girlfriend, never having played this game before, and beating the crap out of me. I don't know whether to salute you or cut you up into little pieces and hide them in the CD tray.

 

 

3. Purist/Completionist

Doing stuff out of order just freaks this guy out. Don't ever invite him to play multiplayer on a level he hasn't played through himself on single player. He won't put down a game until he has every scenario beaten, every achievement achieved. "I'd love to play MF2 with you, man," he says, "but I'm still working on GTA IV." He still brags about how, at the age of 12, he got every star in Super Mario 64 in perfect order. You wonder seriously whether he puts this on his resume.

 

 

4. Old School Elitist

He's indifferent about games today, but oh man, were you alive when the first Super Mario came out? That game was tight. The mechanics, the controls, both groundbreaking and breathtaking. Halo can't hold a candle to GoldenEye; A Link to the Past leaves Uncharted in the dust. His reaction to any Call of Duty titles is lukewarm at best, though in a private conversation he'll admit he finds the realism of the guns frightening.

 

 

5. This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

This guy loves his old games, but he can't play them any more because every one of his consoles is completely trashed. The floor of his room is littered with scratched CD's, and even when playing his 360 you can't use the left trigger or it'll erase his whole hard drive. His controllers have brown grime in every nook and cranny, and starting up his console blows a hurricane of dust up from behind the TV. Because of this guy, you get down on your knees and thank your older brother for forcing you to swiffer the entertainment center, lest you receive a beating by his hand.

 

 

6. Hardcore Elitist

No points for originality here— he plays games until dawn, with empty energy drink cans covering every horizontal surface in his room, which, yes, is still in his mom's house. You're his only friend left that isn't represented by an avatar, because he makes way too many gaming jokes and disdains anyone who isn't on at least their fourth prestige in Call of Duty. Any game he touches, he masters; if only that were a marketable skill.

 

 

7. Whiner

This guy has never lost a fair game, ever. He always wins. Except when he loses, but that's only when the game is glitchy, every other player is modding, the connection drops, someone resets the modem, a small focused lightning storm over Texas brings the servers down, or everyone else had made more animal sacrifices to the gaming gods. I mean, if it weren't all that stuff, he'd win all the time, no problem.

 

Art by Katie Hampton.

[GhoztMan 219]

Kind of like GamesRadar's 7 Types of Stereotypical Gamers we Hate. I lol'd a lot at the picture for the 7th one. Thanks for the share, XGhozt! :D

[aNiMe_FrEaK_ 40]

Actually contrary to my vote (I voted before I read the explanations) I think I'm more suited to be an Old School Elitist rather than Hardcore Elitist. Especially considering I don't play video games anymore. At all.

[plutomic 76]

im the whiner...sadly=/

[Speedskater 167]

Ha the Whiner is the most annoying in my opinion

[Z 83]

rofl Freak of Nature 4 LIFE!!

 

"Yet here you are, high as a kite, talking on the phone with your girlfriend, never having played this game before, and beating the crap out of me."

 

Yeah I've heard this directed to me dozens of times :D

[HG-Bounder-X 121]

Whiner could be me, but I'm only like that on two games, not as a gamer in general.

I'm closer to a Perfectionist, trying to ge3t every Achievement in the game! >: O

[JoshJayK 16,648]

I think I'm none. I just wanna play the damn game. D:

[DeathTheKid 130]

I'm "Laid Back Gamer." the mofo in the corner who just doesn't give a fuck. The hippie of gaming.

[Major Zhuinden 128]

Old-School Elitist.

Hey, I don't know what you're talking about, I mean, wtf is Mass Effect so pro about - you can't have the same awesome aspects and story as we had in System Shock 2. RPG? Who gives a shi- about RPGs now, all the good RPGs have already been made, like Chrono Cross and Tales of Phantasia - nothing is better than those! xD

[Speedskater 167]

I just put I can't have nice things but I'm more of a I'll piss you off in any overpowered methods for fun

[DeathTheKid 130]

Old-School Elitist.

Hey, I don't know what you're talking about, I mean, wtf is Mass Effect so pro about - you can't have the same awesome aspects and story as we had in System Shock 2. RPG? Who gives a shi- about RPGs now, all the good RPGs have already been made, like Chrono Cross and Tales of Phantasia - nothing is better than those! xD

 

Gtfo mass effect was pro.

[Major Zhuinden 128]

Actually I have never played Mass Effect. I'm sure it's fun, but it can't be better than System Shock 2. Nothing can be. (note: LIES AND DECEIT, OBVIOUS TROLL ALARM)