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How to turn on a Computer

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i need help i dont get how to do it

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2.) Once you load Windows, you may log in to your account. (This should take approximitly 34 seconds, assuming you've done your research and purchased a mid-range computer for the proper price.)

3.) While logging into your computer, you should take about 4-8 seconds to wait for your virus/ad-ware protection, favorite startup programs, and compatibility background programs to load.

4.) Once you've done that, you can enjoy nearly flawless compatibility between internet/removable harddrives/portable data devices, and infinite access to the vast majority of useful and recreational applications only available to Windows users.

5.) While enjoying your new Pc, you may want to stray from regularly downloading massive amounts of porn from every site you find yourself on. If this is something you cannot avoid, you may find comfort getting your Mac on with a Mac.

 

Once you load Windows, you are automatically logged into your account. Afterwards, you must wait approximately 2 minutes until the most important programs start running, and another additional minute until you can actually start using your GUI.

 

Once you have done that, you can enjoy the slowness of your comp that is loaded with crap (called Windows's compatibility built-in features) while being bugged every 5 minutes to restart your computer (due to the Updates) and of course don't forget the bubble that indicates you've got no Anti Virus protection (so don't go surfing pr0n, download Microsoft's self-destruction device instead disguised as a spyware killer) and that with Windows Firewall disabled your computer is still vulnerable even though you are behind a router. Of course, if you don't have THAT disabled, you must allow every of your programs to go to the internet, and you don't have the choice to deny the worm from entering the internet.

 

Of course, with your new Windows system, you may run a lot of new crappy games that suck, and you cannot run MOAGG that is made only for Linux. (I personally wanted to play that). Also, you cannot play xEvil with split-screen on Windows either.

 

However, if you want your computer to be as fast as after the Installation, you must stray from ever using it again for any particular reasons.

 

Don't forget that your hard drives get fragmented and you must run a defragmentation software every once in a while. However, don't forget the fact that the Windows Built-in Defragmenter sucks and it almost completely destroys your computer, and so you must gather other software (and crack it).

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lol MOST OF THE TIME i can use the mac instructions for windows lulz

 

Is there such thing as an 8 bit processor?
ya... used in calculators.

 

ZOMG THATS WHY MY COMP IS SO SLOW!!!

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That kind of processor was used in NES. Don't say such ill things about it. It's also used in the VMU of the Dreamcast.

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I just press the button on my computer and... it explodes... with Lights on the monitor and I put it my password then I begin to own people again on the internet!! :'(

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Lol... Im surprised this thread was brought back :'(

 

You know, I figured out why this is so damn slow... BECAUSE IT SUCKS.

 

333 mhz FSB.

1 gig ram

Athlon xp 3000+

 

Windows xp eats it like a dog... I even tried vista beta HAAHAHAHHA!!!

 

I thought i had a decent computer, but in reality it is old. Well errr now time to format and list in the paper woot!...

 

Bleh

 

I have not formatted or reinstalled since like january on this comp... and before that it was almost 3 years. My dad got his 3 years ago, and we redid it last year.

 

My friend also got his 3 years ago, never reinstalled and is wondering why his comp is slow

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lol dude u should buy a new mb for it and put a quad core 3.2 ghz processeser in it and see how fast it goes then

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i never nuked my harddrive in 3 years lol. But i formatted it at the end of last summer when i got off linux.

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lol ive nuked my hd like 15 times in the past 3 months =/ stupid viruses/error's then i got the blue screen of death like 4 times

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I'm like pro at nuking hdd's, well not recently, I've been doing good any keeping my hdd in good cond. But before.. I'd be lucky to last two months without downloading something full of viruses.

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Omg this thread is so old. I should make a prog for this XD

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Haha maybe you should.. Shit staying up two days straight is making me hyper as hell... shouldn't I be tired.. I'm confused.

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Oh trust me, once you go to sleep, don't go to sleep when the sun is setting, or when it's getting dark, when you wake up, it will still be getting dark XD I got so disoriented from it oh boy...

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My nights and days have been effed up for about 3 weeks now but this is the first time I just stayed up the whole night.. haha oopies.. Off topic :x

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my old comp i left it on so long as soooo often my fan died..... IT DIED!!!!!!! well if thats a sign for me.... lol

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i run on 64 bit pentium 4 (3ghz) dual core processor, and i havnt turned off my pc since the third post in this thread :P/// only

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