How to turn on a Computer

[ProSlasher 176]

Pc's (Windows based)

1. Press the power button

2. Wait 17 seconds for the bios to look at the MBR.

3. See the Windows XP screen for 54 seconds.

4. Pull your hair out when you see the screen turn blue and cause a general fault error

5. Restart the computer

6. Repeat steps 1-5, then go to 7.

7. Realize your computer is screwed and that you have to reinstall.

8. Find the copy of windows xp your friend gave you…

9. Call Microsoft and tell them you lost your key

10. Convince the guy that you are legit and that you bought XP.

11. Get the key after 31 minutes of fighting.

12. Insert disk (Sometimes, you can do this before step 9, but either way, it will be the same length of time)

13. Let windows load “Important†files.

14. Let windows load Operating system files…

15. Let XP spend 468 minutes “Installing†and “Setting Up†your computer.

16. Let XP restart

17. Enjoy your desktop while you can…

18. Restart because of Automatic Updates…(If you are really good, you can avoid the updates)

19. Have windows nag you every “Couple of days†*reality: every 42 minutes* to activate your computer.

20. Realize your windows CD is illegal, then call Microsoft and have them activate your computer.

21. Enjoy your computer… wait 2 months, then repeat steps 1-21.

 

 

Mac

1. Press the power button

2. Wait about one minute, then enjoy your computer

 

Linux (Cheers to Xthar on this one)

1.Your computer is allways on so you dont need to turn it on.

Edited February 5, 2007 by Xthar

[Azqato 503]

Lol macs FTL

[Brownie Man 41]

if u have that much problems with a pc then ur a dumbass...

[XGhozt 410]

Personally I used a mac and a pc. And I have this to say:

Sure, it boots fine, and so do pc's. Infact, my computer is up and running in under a min.

So, lets get down to what you don't know about macs: The Mac Hater

[M00K 0]

Pc's (Windows based)

1. Press the power button

2. Wait 17 seconds for the bios to look at the MBR.

3. See the Windows XP screen for 54 seconds.

4. Pull your hair out when you see the screen turn blue and cause a general fault error

5. Restart the computer

6. Repeat steps 1-5, then go to 7.

7. Realize your computer is screwed and that you have to reinstall.

8. Find the copy of windows xp your friend gave you…

9. Call Microsoft and tell them you lost your key

10. Convince the guy that you are legit and that you bought XP.

11. Get the key after 31 minutes of fighting.

12. Insert disk (Sometimes, you can do this before step 9, but either way, it will be the same length of time)

13. Let windows load “Important” files.

14. Let windows load Operating system files…

15. Let XP spend 468 minutes “Installing” and “Setting Up” your computer.

16. Let XP restart

17. Enjoy your desktop while you can…

18. Restart because of Automatic Updates…(If you are really good, you can avoid the updates)

19. Have windows nag you every “Couple of days” *reality: every 42 minutes* to activate your computer.

20. Realize your windows CD is illegal, then call Microsoft and have them activate your computer.

21. Enjoy your computer… wait 2 months, then repeat steps 1-21.

It should be noted that the majority of the above steps can be removed simply by applying intelligent discretion. Please follow the proceding steps:

 

1.)When choosing parts for your Pc, be sure to purchase to-date parts that do not conflict with eachother.

2.) Once you load Windows, you may log in to your account. (This should take approximitly 34 seconds, assuming you've done your research and purchased a mid-range computer for the proper price.)

3.) While logging into your computer, you should take about 4-8 seconds to wait for your virus/ad-ware protection, favorite startup programs, and compatibility background programs to load.

4.) Once you've done that, you can enjoy nearly flawless compatibility between internet/removable harddrives/portable data devices, and infinite access to the vast majority of useful and recreational applications only available to Windows users.

5.) While enjoying your new Pc, you may want to stray from regularly downloading massive amounts of porn from every site you find yourself on. If this is something you cannot avoid, you may find comfort getting your Mac on with a Mac.

[Ruler of War 169]

lol well xthar will post somthing about linux just wait lol but to turn my comp on i used to have to hot wire it ( not jkin ) there was a green wire and a red wire i had to touch em to gether and it would spark and boom comps on but 1 time i cought my desk on fire rofl good thing i was drinking a glass of water ;)

[Xthar 136]

yeah ruler i just added to his post about linux lol

[ProSlasher 176]

Thank you Xthar.... I forgot unix, and dos... oh well, those blow anyways...

 

Coming up... A tutorial on Java... (Seriously...)

Hmmm Maybe ill post up an ebook.

[Cripp 167]

Thank you Xthar.... I forgot unix, and dos... oh well, those blow anyways...

 

Coming up... A tutorial on Java... (Seriously...)

Hmmm Maybe ill post up an ebook.

LOL if they cant turn on a comp then they cant see how to wrok java or see how to turn on a comp but anyway nice job

[Xthar 136]

what if its an allready turned on computer?

[Azu 24]

Lol on windows xp 64bit

 

1. Press the power button

2. Wait 20 seconds for everything to start up

 

3. Repeat 1 and 2 if the power goes out (once every few months)

[XGhozt 410]

I'm on 32 bit and I reboot every 2-3 weeks..

[Lost Prodigy 158]

I'm on 32 bit and I reboot every 2-3 weeks..

how do u find out what "bit" it is and what does that mean anyway.

[XGhozt 410]

Lol... You should know when you bought it.

[co2metal 0]

DOS > All.

[Azu 24]

how do u find out what "bit" it is and what does that mean anyway.

 

 

If it says 64bit when you turn it on, it's 64bit. Otherwise it is 32bit.

[Azqato 503]

DOS > All.

 

.....NOOB rofl

[Xthar 136]

i aggrey with that c02 guy. DOS > ALL

[co2metal 0]

.....NOOB rofl

.....FORMAT C: rofl

[ProSlasher 176]

Mr. Lp prolly has an 8 bit processor. That would suck. "Thanks for calling tech support... I have a comptuer with an 8 bit pro... its slow as hell, how do i fix that?"

[Azu 24]

Mr. Lp prolly has an 8 bit processor. That would suck. "Thanks for calling tech support... I have a comptuer with an 8 bit pro... its slow as hell, how do i fix that?"

Is there such thing as an 8 bit processor?

[Xthar 136]

im sure

[ProSlasher 176]

ya... used in calculators.

[David K 22]

Pc's (Windows based)

1. Press the power button

2. Wait 17 seconds for the bios to look at the MBR.

3. See the Windows XP screen for 54 seconds.

4. Pull your hair out when you see the screen turn blue and cause a general fault error

5. Restart the computer

6. Repeat steps 1-5, then go to 7.

7. Realize your computer is screwed and that you have to reinstall.

8. Find the copy of windows xp your friend gave you…

9. Call Microsoft and tell them you lost your key

10. Convince the guy that you are legit and that you bought XP.

11. Get the key after 31 minutes of fighting.

12. Insert disk (Sometimes, you can do this before step 9, but either way, it will be the same length of time)

13. Let windows load “Important†files.

14. Let windows load Operating system files…

15. Let XP spend 468 minutes “Installing†and “Setting Up†your computer.

16. Let XP restart

17. Enjoy your desktop while you can…

18. Restart because of Automatic Updates…(If you are really good, you can avoid the updates)

19. Have windows nag you every “Couple of days†*reality: every 42 minutes* to activate your computer.

20. Realize your windows CD is illegal, then call Microsoft and have them activate your computer.

21. Enjoy your computer… wait 2 months, then repeat steps 1-21.

Mac

1. Press the power button

2. Wait about one minute, then enjoy your computer

 

Linux (Cheers to Xthar on this one)

1.Your computer is allways on so you dont need to turn it on.

 

What do you do if your computer starts letting out black smoke and making a loud beeping noise?

[g-reaper 0]

oh my god! the windows one is so true... :P